Günün Fıkrası : Liderler Cehennem’de... Fıkra bu, Süleyman Demirel ölmüş. Ahiret kayıt-kabul melekleri karşılayıp günah sevap defterini kontrol etmişler ve ceza çekmek üzere O’nu Cehennem zebanilerine teslim etmişler. Zebaniler Demirel’i Cehennem’in dibine göndermişler. Bir süre sonra zebaniler periyodik kontrole geldiklerinde bir de ne görsünler! Demirel mayosunu giymiş, hamağa uzanmış, gözlerinde güneş gözlüğü, elinde minik şemsiyeli bir meyve suyu; keyif çatıyor. Bu arada Cehennem’in çeşitli il, ilçe ve bucaklarından gelen kasketli heyetler, sepetlerinde çeşitli sebzeler ve meyveler bulunduğu halde Demirel tarafından kabul edilmeyi bekliyor.

Zebanilerden müteşekkil teftiş kurulu derhal incelemeye gelmiş. Bakmışlar ki Demirel Cehennem’deki sıcak lav rezervlerinin üzerine termik santral kurmuş, lav ırmaklarına da barajlar yapmış, onlardan elde ettiği enerji ile Cehennem’in her yerine klimalar taktırmış. Kurduğu fabrikalardan taşlar üreterek Cehennem’e otoyol ağı yapmış. Hemen onu Cehennem’den çıkartmışlar.

Evvelce vefat etmesine rağmen VIP salonunda beklemekte olan Turgut Özal’ı Cehennem’e atmışlar. Cehennem’i periyodik olarak kontrol eden teftiş kurulu zebanileri Özal’ı Cehennem’in kapısının önünde para sayarken bulmuşlar.- Hey! Sen neden Cehennem’de değilsin? diye çıkışmışlar Özal’a. Özal: - Cehennem’i Fransızlar’a sattım, artık hem daha fazla lav üretiyor, daha yüksek ısı sağlıyor, kapasitesini de arttırdık, daha çok yerli zebani istihdam ediyor, artık kainat çapında hizmet veriyor, hem de artık ahiret bütçesine yük olmaktan kurtuldu, demiş Onu da derhal Cehennem’den çıkartıp yerine Tayyip Erdoğan’ı atmışlar.

Bir süre sonra kontrol etmek üzere geldiklerinde Cehennem’e girememişler. Çünkü kapıda tanımadıkları İngilizce, Fransızca ve Flamanca konuşan zebaniler onların girişlerini engelliyor, girmek istiyorlarsa en yakın konsolosluktan Schengen vizesi almaları gerektiğini söyleyip duruyorlarmış. Zavallı zebaniler ne olduğunu araştırırken karşıdan Günter Verheugen ile Karen Fogg’un geldiğini görmüşler. Meğerse Cehennem AB’ye girmiş. Hemen Erdoğan’ı da oradan çıkartmışlar ve yerine Bülent Ecevit’i atmışlar.

Zebaniler “Ecevit’i gönderdik ya, artık Cehennem nihayet Cehennem gibi olacak!” diye sevinirlerken bir de bakmışlar ki, Cehennem’de ateş sönmüş. Hatta insanlar üşümeye, soğuktan kürklere sarılmaya başlamışlar. Kontrolör zebaniler kontrole gelmişler ki ne görsünler? Kömür bitmiş. Kömür ve ateş ithal edecek döviz olmadığından kuyruklar oluşmuş. Cehennem çalışanları greve gitmiş. Cehennem mensupları birbirlerine anayasa kitapçıkları fırlatmaya başlamışlar. Bu arada Ecevit ve Rahşan Hanım dizlerine renkli birer battaniye örtmüş, huzur içinde el ele, diz dize, göz göze oturuyorlarmış. Derhal Ecevit’i Cehennemden çıkartıp yerine Deniz Baykal’ı koymuşlar.

Cehennem bu sefer daha da yaşanılmaz bir yer olmuş. Önce ikiye, sonra dörde bölünmüş. Yakalayan yakaladığını yumruklar olmuş. Huzur güven kalmamış. Baykal kızgınlıkla “Cehennem bizlerindir! Beğenmeyen çeker gider. Bakın başka yerler de var! Yakınımızda Cennet bulunuyor! Hadi yallah!” diye nutuklar çekerken Mustafa Sarıgül “Cehennem babanın malı değil. Bizim yerimiz burasıdır!” diye bağırıyormuş!  ¶ 12:21 PM 2 Comments

  I want to go... Moscow - to visit Marina and AIESEC Russia
Istanbul - to visit Cihan, Servin and AIESEC Istanbul people
Ankara - to visit Asena
Kiev - to visit AIESEC Ukraine people
Brasil - to visit Tati
Qatar - to visit Gannet
Dubai - to visit Ahmed and Mohammed
Bahrain - to visit Claude
Morocco - to visit Kenza and Zeead
Amsterdam - to visit Mischa and Peter
London - to visit Shamil and Daga
Dominican Republic - to visit Patci
Germany - to visit Sarah and Alex
Malaysia - to visit Lier
Greece and Thailand - to visit P3  ¶ 6:16 PM 5 Comments

  And... Official start date for the long-waited project: BECOMING RICHEST AZERI IN THE WORLD will start on 01.08.2006!!! on My dad's birthday!!!

btw, Happy birthday DAD!!!  ¶ 2:56 PM 5 Comments

  Music clips in Egypt Music clips in Egypt ends like movies...With cast... who played what role, who was director, who was hairdresser, who hold the lamp and so on...Not sure if anybody really reads it...  ¶ 2:54 PM 0 Comments

  Doctors in Egypt I am sick now... coughing badly... to much drinking and AC... I went to doctor. He asked me if I have insurance. He said he would like to write more drugs for me if I have insurance so that he can earn more money...I guess that can happen only in Egypt, no?  ¶ 2:51 PM 3 Comments

  Partying in Saudi way... Before I left for Hurghada, I went to party with some egyptian friends... Saudi place, where 4 beers cost me 200 dollars... but it was completely worth it...

Why?

The party started with some fat Egyptian bitches showing off their fat (sexy according to Saudis) in the stage so that loser Saudis would call them to their table...

Then some very good singers came and sang...they supposed to be famous, obviously I dont know...The main person of the party was Princess of Kuwait ...

My Egyptian friends went and told every singer that, there is a Turkish here. Every singer sang a Turkish song in Arabic...People joined me dancing and so on... I even danced with princess...

Well, it was very fun night until I saw the bill... But once in lifetime experience like that is totally worth it...  ¶ 3:01 PM 3 Comments

  When muslims will learn to make business??? I hate to do business in muslim countries... they think so short term... let me screw this guy as much as I can and I dont care what will happen in future...

Well, the guy who booked my vacation screw me big time... hotel screws up every customer...taxis, shops, everything... Well, I understand that, I am tourist... I understand that 10-20 dollars wont make much difference to my budget... but it will make me feel taking advantage of... then do you really expect me to make business with you? Why do you care about 100-200 dollars more you will make now, not 2000-3000 more dollars you can make tomorrow through my referals, myself and so on?

Well, thats why those countries are third world country and do not develop muh... This countries lack big thinkers, people who can look at big picture and do big things...  ¶ 2:51 PM 3 Comments

  Users are losers...   ¶ 2:47 PM 0 Comments

  Russkie devuski...   ¶ 2:41 PM 2 Comments

  Back... Well, after making two of my "friends" happy and getting appropriate "thank you", I realized that, I cannot stay in Cairo any longer...So I decided to take vacation, go somewhere else where I will be away from all those crap that was around me...I thought the "bad" month was over after I arrived to Egypt, but in actuality, it wasnt...

I spent last 8-9 days in Hurghada...It was good. I mean, where I stood emotionally when I went there and where I stand now...it was one of the most useful vacations I have ever had. The only bad thing was, I lost my camera...I am so sorry for the pictures that were in my memory card.

Vacation was pretty much, breakfast, pool, some reading, chatting to people, making friends etc... I also drank so much every nite that, I fucked up my lungs... Now, I cough like an dieing person...well, at least I have a good tan now...hehe.. The chief animator was Turkish, and it made my vacation even much more fun...I ended up being pretty famous in the resort center, I DJed sometimes, tried to be active in all activites...

Now... I am back... Back to Cairo...I am starting one project tomorrow. It should be done in 15 days... I already booked my ticket to Istanbul... Can't wait to get out from this country...I hope I will never have to come here again...very unlucky country for me...  ¶ 2:25 PM 2 Comments

  Lesson: Learn to give up... Well, I was proud of my ability not to give up... but I guess I had to learn it...Sometimes things in life are like a gamble, if you dont leave the game on time, you will keep losing...

Now, people are playing games with me...and continueing hurting me...But I beleive everybody gets what he/she deserves...

and I know everything...  ¶ 12:41 PM 1 Comments

  Funny Bush!!! I just read an article (in Turkish) that, Bush offered Putin to help him to democratize Russia the way America democratizing Iraq...and Putin of course laughed his ass off.. It really happened...in St. Petersburg, during press conference...
hahaha
Bush is really funny guy!!! He should start stand by comedy show or something...  ¶ 3:00 PM 0 Comments

  Gettin' better... Well... I am getting settled down in Cairo...very busy with readings and work...

I will probably go to Sharm or Dahab for a week...I really need a vacation...  ¶ 2:55 PM 0 Comments

  DODY-G at work...   ¶ 2:46 PM 0 Comments

  Re-start!!!   ¶ 4:05 PM 2 Comments

  My favorite song in days like these: Craig David:

Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away

Sometimes some people get me wrong
When its something Ive said or done
Sometimes you feel there is no fun
Thats why you turn and run
But now I truly realise
Some people dont wanna comromise
Well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies
And well I dont wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
Not mentioning the fights Im sorry to say lady

Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking awayWell Im so tired baby

Things you say youre driving me away
Whispers in the powder room baby
Dont listen to the games they play
Girl I thought youd realise
Im not like them other guys
Coz I saw them with my own eyes
You shouldve been more wise
And well I dont wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
Not mentioning the fights Im sorry to say lady

Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better day
Im walking away from the troubles in my life
Im walking away oh to find a better dayIm walking away  ¶ 7:13 PM 1 Comments

  Update: June 23-July 10, 2006 - continuation of a bad month... Well, I have not been updating my blog in past 2-3 weeks. A lot of things have been going on in my life which kept me really busy.

Identity theft:
A week before I left USA, I got information that, my Social Security number has been stolen. Somebody applied for my tax return and got all the money. fucked up

Good bye party:
I had very fucked up good bye party. The place which was my favorite place for 11 month in New York had their air conditioner broken on the same day as my party. Moreover the musicians get into car accident and no live music. 30-40 people who showed up gets divided into groups. Some leaves for home, some goes to another middle eastern place, others go to club. I get so stressed that, only 2 drinks I was completely drunk... I miss the rest of the party...

Win over Argentina:
I celebrate win over Argentina in New York. I was very nervous during the game but that was the only good thing happened to me before I left New York...

Good bye AIESEC USA MC!!!
Amazing 11 month in AIESEC USA ends the same day as well. My teammates makes a surprise for me by gathering in conference room. I get an AIESEC pen and hugs by every teammate including George...hehe...It was pretty emotional and I could not really give a farewell speech. Omar made video of this "ceremony", I might upload it here sometime.

Heart problem:
The same night, during a clubbing I start to have some sudden heart problem. Next day it was even more serious, so I had to go to hospital. After tons of examinations, I was declared healthy. I should stress less and work not as hard as I do. Well, I should be fine, hopefully...

Leaving USA:
Monday, on 3rd of July, I leave USA. Mischa was there to farewell me in airport. We arrive 2 hours earlier but I had to deal with re-packing. In the end I enter to the plane in the last minute. They were calling my name already. I used to make fun of people who were in the same situation but it was happening to me now. I go through special new security check with some air and so on. It was funny... I ran to plane. I was the last one to enter. Everybody who saw my boarding pass were like, "ah, u r the Farid that everybody is looking for?" Well, after I take my sit, I see my luggage coming to plane. One of them gets in, the other one gets returned. and watching all these... was really funny... well, now, I was already thinking that, I will die or something since the "unlucky month" is still not over... I arrive to Frankfurt and Prague alive. But unlucky times were not over. Obviously, my luggage wasn’t delivered. I supposed to mail that luggage to Azerbaijan. Well, Lufthansa assures me that, the luggage will be at my hotel tonight. Well, not really... Luggage goes to another hotel with similar name. I find out about it the next day...and plus luggage was broken... Well, new problem to deal with before I leave Prague on the next day. Well, we go for shopping. I am still sleepless (40 hours). Couldn’t sleep during flights which is pretty odd for me. After expensive shopping and purchasing Germany WC jersey we decide to go to Old square to watch the game...

Germany loses...
There is this shirt that I have been wearing for past 3 years. German national jersey during 2002-2003. Well, it was my lucky shirt. I have won every game I played with that shirt on. Germany has won every game that I watched with that shirt on. This time, I risk it and I wear this new jersey...I kind of felt that, I am taking a risk. Well, everything was going good until 119th minute...

All the respect goes to Italy:
Italians... ah Italians... they win...but after all that shit going on in their country, they bounce back and go to finals.. I will be cheering for them tonight during final!!!

Cairo:
Dody, Aatif and Taha picks me and my girlfriend up at the airport. We go to our place...A place which requires tons of cleaning and dusting... But it was amazing to be back to Cairo.. Ancient city of ancient civilization...

Second day in Cairo:
Second day in Cairo I spend cleaning the house. Everything was going very well, until the night when we break up... I really thought the unlucky month was over... Well it wasn’t yet... So far it is already 2 days, I am single and it feels a bit weird. But as the only good things the French said ever... c'est la vie...

Germany -third place:
I watch it in Cairo... and we win! I wish we were in finals...

Now:
I am in our office... Trying to get settled down...Dealing with bugs and problems of Microsoft office. Will meet some friends to watch world cup soon. Go Italy Go!!! Can't wait for good days to be back...Sun always rises, even among the clouds, right?  ¶ 6:50 PM 2 Comments